Embracing Our New Equilibrium
by Shawn Jacqueline Bohen
I went to see my doctor yesterday. Every person I encountered in the office, myself included, was wearing a mask.
These days, of course, that seems appropriate. Though I felt compelled to ask her: “How long do you think everyone in a medical setting will stay masked?”
She didn’t hesitate: “Forever. The pandemic reminded us of two basic public health truths: wearing a mask and washing your hands prevents the spread of germs and disease. We need to embrace the science — this is our new reality.”
“Equilibrium”
In my conversations with nonprofit leaders, I am hearing a certain sentiment expressed over and over. People describe being surprised that they still feel “unmoored” or “in a swirl.” One person compared his mental state to, “endlessly rock climbing without any familiar handholds.”
While the expectation is that we will soon arrive at stability — with some longing for a return to how things were before and others in a fervent search for a breakthrough to something new — I think this is an illusion. We will be here, in the messy middle, for a long time.
The conundrum is that as a species, we long for familiarity and consistency. Yet our experience is that living requires embracing impermanence, unpredictability, and interdependence. This is our equilibrium.
Leadership = Connection
Western leaders have been socialized to perform in a certain way: to have all the answers (or at least all the questions); to “manage” people; to set goals, track progress, and drive results. Traditional performance measures reward behaviors associated with achieving these individual outcomes.
But during the turmoil of the last few years, it has become clear that this hierarchical approach doesn’t cut the mustard anymore (for many people, it never did). Nor does the office culture, the commute, the need to be in constant “performance mode,” and so many other workplace norms.
Employees have now lived what it means to be home with their kids, available for elderly parents, and able to work how, where, and when it fits their individual preferences. So we need to be more thoughtful about what “leadership” means and bring more compassion into the workplace.
So, how can leaders adjust? Some thoughts…
Establish a humane working environment.
Human connection is the way through the uncertainty.
People want to be seen and heard, to thrive, and to feel that they are supported and cared for. Most work today is “we-work” not “me-work,” and that requires teamwork, cooperation, and trust. We evolved by surviving together. It’s time we update our performance measures to privilege these skills and reflect our interdependence.
Work-life balance was always illusive — and the wrong frame. Work-life integration is a more apt description of what it feels like. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to integrate work with life. As Brene Brown shares in Daring to Lead, “Daring leaders work to make sure people can be themselves and feel a sense of belonging.”
Communicate with candor and be vulnerable.
There is a persistent viewpoint that to be a good leader one needs to have all the answers. But in uncertain times, it feels like bullshit.
We are learning to operate in this new way — together and in public. So we must be okay with being uncomfortable and not rush to fix it.
When we can share our own feelings of insecurity and doubt, we give others permission to do the same, allowing them to take chances, experiment, and connect more strongly with one another.
“To truly listen is to allow yourself to be changed by what you hear.”
This wisdom, from Alan Alda, continues to amaze and challenge me.
If you want everyone back to the office because you have a belief about why that matters, you need to be open to the idea that it may not be true and likely won’t work for everyone.
As employees raise questions about how the work gets done and enjoy more options than ever regarding the where, what, and how of their work, it’s vital that we make room to hear their concerns and be flexible in taking action to support their interests.
People are not okay. Many are grieving and trying to figure out how to self-regulate. Now more than ever, leadership means listening and being open to being changed by what you hear.
Change is Already Here
There are some truths that are intrinsic to being human.
Work has been upended, and as leaders, we need to rethink, reinvent, and listen. People do well, contribute fully, and thrive when they are cared for, respected, and valued. Period.
This should have always been obvious. Today it is indisputable.